This is a re-post of something I’d written for the old site, because just this morning (er. afternoon) I was telling Paul I needed a day off. One where I didn’t need to hit the corner straight away, gather shit, grocery shop, and then pack and bike everything home too tired to work on anything else. It was already fuckin’ 2:30pm as I’m saying this, and I was still trying to get ready to accomplish my daily tasks. Ugh. Been tired lately, ya know? Too much binge watching TV till near daybreak, I guess. Just that takes near 2 hrs of charging *daily*. Anyway, I finally hit the corner around 3:30 and before I could even sit down this dude walks over asking if I wanna clean an apartment just around the corner for $50. He estimated 1.5 hrs of work in all. Why not? So I went, and it was indeed a quick enough job. I already had enough to purchase supplies for today and tomorrow. I have plenty of shit to catch up on around camp that I never get around to, so tomorrow I am gonna be a homebody and get shit done. I’ll let ya know how it goes. For now, here’s why I say “Lazy Need Not Apply”.
One of my primary goals every day is to get some writing done. Most days out here generate at least one noteworthy event, if not more. Trouble is… Well, for one thing; trouble itself. Life just often seems to get in the way. Other times I just procrastinate until it’s too late, or the mood or inspiration has all but evaporated. So, I am going to try and publish something every day. I say “try”, because occasionally nothing much happens, or I get lazy and just take a day off from life in general.
Out here, taking a day off means putting off basically any task that can wait for another day. Things being what they are – very much day to day to begin with – means you’d better have had a fairly productive few days leading up to such a day. Including, but not limited to: chores, gathering – money, creature comforts (i.e. smokes, beer, or whatever your particular brand of recreational pharmaceuticals), food, laundry, etc, or be prepared to suffer without. Not many days off out here.
Funny… People generally have this misconception that the homeless are lazy. Nothing could be further from the truth. There may be extremely lazy homeless people but, I don’t know any. Staying even remotely comfortable requires great effort on a daily basis. Wake up, straighten up your domicile – repairs as well as organizationally. Get presentable – not always such an easy feat, depending… I’m deep in the woods with no clean running water. Even the creek is a few hundred yards away (Dude Wipes are awesome in this regard), so you need to maintain some sort of water supply. We have one of those plastic 5 gal carboys the water coolers use. Sometimes it gets filled from a working spigot, sometimes at the store for a few dollars. Pain in the ass, as it’s heavy as hell when full. If you have a backpack that will support its’ breadth and weight, that is a good option. Else, we use the bike trailer. Also an ordeal. This is generally done after dark to remain incognito, however now if you want to avoid police contact (always a goal of mine) you now have to spend time hooking up some taillights to the f’n thing… But, I digress. We’re in a small woods surrounded by the upper class who won’t take kindly to a handful of homeless piping in and out of their neighborhood with bike trailers containing a bunch of fuckin’ obvious homeless shit.
Next, you likely have to prepare and start a fire. Hope the weather has been kind, or you’ve actually prepared a good stash of dry firewood. Pro Tip: styrofoam Big Gulp cups can start a fire in a blizzard. Day time? Uh-oh. Smoke from a fire would alert the good citizens of your presence and potentially bring some unwanted authority types. Too bad. Maybe you have a Coleman stove or the like. I do. Smokeless fire that provides tent warmth on those frigid nights, or a heat source for cooking, hot water for bathing, etc.
Now ya gotta pack all your shit and, don’t forget anything cuz that will mean fucking off at least an hour of your day, if not more. For me, that means PHONE, charging gear and devices (plugs, cables (usb-A->C, usb-C->C), battery banks, headlamp, bike lights, PHONE), thermos to contain hot coffee, cold water, beer whatever, warm layers for night time (gloves, hat, jacket), laptop and power block, cigs and lighter, PHONE, wallet, leftover loot from day before, knife, signage, pen and paper, canvas duffel rolled up at bottom of my backpack to haul home the spoils of the day, water, etc etc etc. I begin my day with around 40lbs in my backpack – closer to 60-70 by the time I’m through. Did I mention PHONE? Don’t forget your fucking phone at camp. It is likely at or near 0% battery, and unlike other items, the phone is all important. Lose it, you’re fucked. Stolen? Fucked. Damage? Fucked. Try spending the day running around the city without your phone. No way to communicate without physically locating the person you need to speak with, no Cashapp, DART transit app, Google, maps, etc, all while worrying like mad that you didn’t leave it, but lost it in transit. Ugh.
Next in my usual routine is the 2 mile bike ride to hit the corner for some loot. I spend about an hour a day doing this. I am good with a sign and usually pull $20-60 in that hour. I can be comfortable for $15 a day, so only an hour. I have a strict policy against being greedy.
Before, during, and/or after I socialize with my peeps. We have an established community out here – family, really – and I’ll run into any number of those folks up here at “The Office”. Often we sit on the side of 7-Eleven, sipping on a beer, eating a meal one of the good folks traveling up Preston passed out their window, or smoking some weed with Snoop. Snoop leaves his apartment 3-5x a day to come to 7-Eleven to roll and smoke a joint, and he shares.
Next, I’ll shop for whatever else I need. That’s usually just Dollar Tree for misc grocery items, and 7-Eleven for beer and cigs. Sometimes it’s Walmart for bike tubes or propane. If I need substantial groceries I hit Tom Thumb.
Now I gotta charge all my shit, including but not limited to: battery bank, headlamp, taillight, phone, BT headphones and/or speaker. When the weather is nice, the front of Tom Thumb gas station is a great place to lay out and charge. There’s a nice mat right at the outlet. The clerks are super cool with us as we cause no trouble and always clean up after ourselves. On bad weather days, Starbucks is my fav spot to charge and get a little writing done. McDonald’s is OK too. All of the personnel at these locations know me well and, as such, are very kind to me. I tip and friendly flirt with the Starbucks baristas and they treat me very well during the hours I sit here sipping free refills.
Now? Depends. Is there a lively social circle out here tonight? If not, maybe I’ll stop under the bridge to catch up with a handful of my friends all at once. Or maybe I’ll just go home, make some supper, and play guitar. Maybe veg out while binge watching some show or another. At that point I’ll finally crack a beer (no more day drinking for my old ass) and just relax, feeling exceptional peace in the comfort of my woods until finally I drift off and sleep till late morning the next day and do it all over again.
Note: These are just some of the common and necessary daily tasks that need attention. Hundreds of other things come up regularly. It’s busy, and not for the weak. That being said, I truly enjoy this lifestyle. I was born an outlaw, and being out here – despite its challenges or dangers – affords me the luxury of separating myself from the trappings of “normative” society. School, work, marriage, work, kids, work, bills, work, and finally death – with very little worthwhile experiences in between. I used to make six figures a year, and for what? A stressed out vacation once a year? Retirement when you’re too old to actually enjoy it? Nah. Out here, every day is packed with unforeseen adventure laced with compassion, apathy, love, hate, life, death.
So much more to write on this subject. I’ll do my best to share the profound impact this journey has had on me personally. Unconventional? Certainly. Challenging? No doubt. All I know is, I wouldn’t trade any of it for any dollar amount. You can’t buy what I’ve gained out here. But maybe… If I get it right… Just maybe – I can give it to you for free.